Spammers Aren’t Even Trying Anymore (or If You’re Going To Try To Screw Me, You Could At Least Buy Me Dinner)

no spam! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, I’m checking my blog stats today, because I’m {narcissistic|a responsible person|bored|compulsive}, and I notice that I’ve gotten twice as many spam comments as I have real comments from readers like you. On my other blog, that ratio is ten to one! And not one of them has ever made it through the filter. So I have to ask myself: why do they even bother?

Are there any email or blogging services out there that don’t automatically include spam blockers? Do they think that random text will get me to click on the link to their scammy website? Or buy drugs from them? Or renegotiate my mortgage? Are they so dense that they think they can keep sending the same stupid SEO comment over and over again for months on end like some douche badgering his girlfriend into having sex because he knows she’ll eventually cave just to get him to shut up? Does spam even work anymore? It must on some level, or people would stop using it.

Yes, I know it’s not a perfect world, and there will always be people out there trying to scam us, but at least they could put a little effort into it. A pickpocket has to practice sleight-of-hand for countless hours before he can successfully steal your wallet without you noticing. A purse snatcher’s really got to be in good shape to outrun the cops. That takes a lot of dedication and discipline. Drug dealers have to deal with production schedules and distribution logistics just like any legitimate enterprise. Crime is serious business.

Jesse James (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Spammers aren’t hackers, they’re slackers. All they’re doing is playing the numbers because eventually one of them will pay off. That’s just lazy. Criminals used to have panache. Mobsters like Capone, the outlaw Jesse James, and even the mysterious, vanishing D.B. Cooper have given us entertainment fodder for decades with their exploits. No one will ever make a movie about a guy selling boner pills out of his basement.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and take all my money out of he bank before some hacker reads this and transfers all my cash to the Caymans.

Also, this is not a thinly veiled attempt to generate more comments on my blogs, although I wouldn’t complain if it did. (No, I’d probably still complain.)

Related articles

• Text Message Spammer Wants FCC To Declare Spam Filters Illegal (it.slashdot.org)
• Facebook and Instagram to Crack Down on Insta-Spam (allthingsd.com)
• FaceBook Wins $873 Million Judgement Against Spammer (hispanicbusiness.com)
• Well played, Mr. Spammer (akagringita.wordpress.com)
• Pinterest cleans houses, purges spammers from the site (digitaltrends.com)
• How to avoid SPAM on Twitter (ivarsmore.wordpress.com)
• World wide wasteland (zemanta.com)
• VIDEO: Offices raided over text spammers (bbc.co.uk)
• With spam, it’s better not to give or receive (miamiherald.com)

About Sean Sandulak

Crazed recluse and sociophobe who has taken up writing after failing at everything else. Send pizza.