I am currently looking for a position where I don’t have to do a lot but still get paid tons of money for it. Tons of money! Like board of directors. Or SEO consultant. But I don’t want to wear a suit. Or pants.
Slave for “The Man”, June 2004 – September 2012
Used and abused for eight hours a day in an underpaid, under-appreciated environment. Moved heavy things about so people with real money could by them and feel good about themselves for five minutes.
Cog in the Machine, February 2000 – June 2004
Performed utterly meaningless chores with no redeeming value for no apparent reason other than to collect a meagre paycheque. Tossed about by the whims of people whose only claim to fame is not failing out of community college business classes.
It’s all a little fuzzy before that, Birth – February 2000
Drinking, carousing, skirt-chasing, and video-gaming. There may have been pizza. Dude, I totally want pizza now.
I think I remember school, but I’m repressing a lot of those memories. Honestly, I slept through most of it. And so did you, admit it. Why? Is it important?
I got some mad skillz, yo. (Sorry.) Avoiding bosses, sleeping in late, complaining, feigning injuries, feeling bitter, making excuses, whining, blogging, staring at the clock, chatting, Solitaire, social media, resume writing.Also, references available upon request.