Somebody Disagree With Me (or Wish Me A Merry Christmas, I Dare You)

I am a complete and total failure as a blogger.

Here I am, eagerly set to engage a willing audience in a lively debate, and you all have to go and agree with everything I say. Maybe I should talk about something more controversial like abortion or healthcare. Those seem to get people riled up. The government is coming to take away your guns! Any takers? C’mon, I’m trying to pick a fight here.

Sean Sandulak Verbatim Gibberish gun

photo by gopal1035 on Flickr

Maybe you would be more disagreeable if I wasn’t such a puss. I admit it, I don’t really like confrontation, at least not face to face. I’m much more likely to run from a fight than to instigate one. Sometimes I’m afraid that shows in my writing as well. People with strong opinions are always admired over the peacemakers.

This attitude is prevalent in all aspects of our society. We don’t find a story exciting unless there is a war being fought, a monster to be slain, or at the very least a love triangle that could turn violent at any second. We mark history by battles lost and won, and pay little attention to the peacemakers. This is why there is such a huge disparity between the budgets of NASA and the U.S. military.

Americans are the worst offenders. Everything is a war with them. The war on drugs has locked up millions of people for the crime of abusing themselves with chemicals. The war on crime has been swallowed up by the war on terror, so now everyone is a potential threat, and little old ladies are frisked for their shampoo bottles, just in case they want to strike death at the heart of America. And there is a war on women, or as the right calls it, campaigning to their base.

Verbatim Gibberish Sean Sandulak Cat Hates War on Christmas

At least it’s not the Easter Bunny ears.

Probably the silliest example is the supposed war on Christmas. This demonstrates the beleaguered but vocal minority of Christian extremists trying to create a panic where there is nothing but normal societal change. It is normal and reasonable for retailers and governments to become more responsive to the growing population that is non-Christian or non-religious. All this whining is just the sound of a privileged elite losing the special status they’ve held for two centuries. It’s time to get of the cross.

If there were a real war in Xmas, you would see lots full of flaming pine trees, plastic reindeer with their faces bashed in, and looting at the Best Buy. Okay, after Black Friday sales it may be hard to tell the difference, but you get the idea. If you want to hear about real persecution, ask a gay man in Iran, or Uganda, or Mississippi. Love your brother, indeed.

Black Friday shoppers at Walmart

Black Friday shoppers at Walmart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We need a war on politics, so radicalized factions on both sides can stop bickering about who is sleeping with whom, and can get on with the business of governance. You know, roads and fire trucks and harassing people who don’t clean up after their dogs. Not destroying the economy or declaring National Broccoli Day.

Or maybe a war on war. Then we could all see how our governments are acting like they are Bronze Age empires, and not anything approaching democracies.

Also, ice cream: nuts or no nuts? Don’t pull any punches.

Verbatim Gibberish Sean Sandulak Squirrel Nuts

Crazed recluse and sociophobe who has taken up writing after failing at everything else. Send pizza.

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16 comments on “Somebody Disagree With Me (or Wish Me A Merry Christmas, I Dare You)
  1. vyvacious says:

    I know I’m just agreeing with you but a war on Christmas is ridiculous!! When else would I bake dozens upon dozens of Christmas-themed goodies to make everyone around me resemble Santa Claus?

    Ice cream: no nuts. Nuts are deadly to me sadly.


  2. MishaBurnett says:

    Okay, I’ll disagree with you. I think that such things as plastic reindeer and trees with lights on them are actually evidence that there is a war on Christmas. Christmas, in the theological sense, is a celebration of the doctrine of the Incarnation.

    It is quite possible in America to spend the next month being inundated with “Christmas stuff” without ever hearing anyone say, “By the way, December 25th is the day that we, as Christians, believe that God Himself entered the world in human flesh for the purpose of redeeming humanity from original sin.”

    Consequently, Christmas is largely divorced from Christianity. The lights and the tinsel and the “Christmas movies” are a smokescreen to keep people too busy to ask, “what is the holiday really all about?” There’s nothing wrong with taking time off work and exchanging gifts and spending time with family, but it’s a little confusing that what is basically a secular celebration uses the same name as a Christian day of obligation.


    • pinkagendist says:

      Christians created the issue by usurping winter solstice celebrations and making it into ‘Christmas’. It was a pagan holiday and the date was only chosen to draw more people into christianity. Scam then, scam now.


      • Christians stole all of their holidays. Easter swallowed up the old fertility rites. At least the harvest festival (currently known as Thanksgiving) has become a mostly secular, family affair.


    • I suppose I asked for this, didn’t I? At the risk of turning a comment into a post, I will offer the following points of clarification:
      1) I am not, nor have I ever been a Christian in any way.
      2) The war on Christmas as it is defined by the media who extol it, specifically describes the removal of Christ-themed holiday decorations or other traditions from businesses and civic institutions.
      It is mostly an American phenomenon, but is spreading to other countries.
      3) These traditions were largely invented in Victorian England by people such as Charles Dickens, and they happened for the most part by accident. Before then the birth of Christ was a minor holiday at best.
      4) I consider it to be a violation of human rights to force people to celebrate a holiday for a religion they do not practice. Religion has no place in government, period. Businesses are free to do whatever they like in the matter, just as I am free not to patronize their establishments.
      5) Yes, it is ironic that the things that the media (mostly Fox News) complain about have little or nothing to do with Christian worship, per se.


      • MishaBurnett says:

        You’re not really under the impression that there ever was such a religion as “Pagan” that had a set calendar, are you? Pre-Christian Europe was composed of a great many tribal states that each had their own faiths, their own languages, their own feast days. Most agricultural peoples did observe the solstices and the equinoxes because they needed to plan for the months ahead, but the idea that the Saxons and the Celts, for example, would have considered themselves part of a similar theological tradition is simply not supported by history.


      • No, pagan is just ancient Christian public relations spin for anyone not Christian. In ancient times, celebrations were regional or local, but often sprang from the same basic observances such as planting and harvesting, and celestial cycles.


  3. Hawkruh says:

    I want to celebrate a holiday where it’s not about the food or the presents – but about being with people we care about. Oh, that would be every day then, wouldn’t it! In other words, LIFE lived honorably!


  4. How can I possibly disagree with someone who posts a squirrel picture? I am weak….


    • I will take that as a vote in favour of nuts.


      • Yes indeed, a hot fudge sundae…. er, SUNduh just isn’t the same without being covered in nuts…

        As for your Christmas debate, I am still waiting for the day we finally recognize the fact that there are two different holidays… the religious Christmas (Jesus, Mary Joseph, all that good stuff) and the secular Christmas (Santa, toys, insane light displays). Maybe it just needs a new name to keep the religious nuts (ha!) at bay….


      • I could live with that. Thanksgiving 2: The Leftovers?


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Things I Will Probably Regret Later
November 2012
Time until the end of the world
The Big DayApril 13, 2036
13.1 years to go.
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