Uncle! Uncle!

Uncle! Uncle! (or Don’t Drink and Blog)

I am only one person.

I know I’ve said this before, but there’s too much good stuff happening on the Internet. I can’t keep up. There is not enough time in the day for me to do all the things I want to do. Well, that’s not entirely true. There’s not enough time after I waste forty-five hours a week working at a job I’ve come to hate with a passion. I’ll tell you about that another time. I don’t want to be one of those guys who gets fired for something he posts on his blog. And I’m trying to keep the profanity to a minimum. It’s been a while since I’ve had a vacation.

So, as of today I have twenty-two days of podcasts that I haven’t listened to yet. That means if I started listening sixteen hours a day, I would be caught up – let me do the math – never. Because, as soon as I emptied my iPod of all that, there would be another six-hundred-thirty-five to hear. Whenever someone starts to recommend a new podcast I have to stick my fingers in my ears and start singing I’m Henry the Eighth I Am to drown them out. Right now I’ll bet your saying, “You don’t have to listen to all those podcasts. Why don’t you cancel some of those subscriptions?” That’s not the point. There is even more stuff I want to listen to, but I’m running out of room on my hard drive.

Somehow, I am following one thousand people on Twitter. And by following I mean not following. You can’t follow a thousand people and read all their tweets. It would be a full time job, if only you could figure out how to get paid. You can read all the tweets of about two hundred people or half the tweets of four hundred people. The rest is just #followtag, and I don’t want to play that game. I want to read their tweets, all of them. They are all fascinating individuals, each with their own personality. Some are famous, most are not. Some are wise and learned. Many are hilarious. But I have a life to live, or at least the vague approximation of a life.

Some folks collect amazing things like art, action figures, or spoons. I collect interesting people. You see, that’s my hobby. There are people out there with stories that will make you furious, break your heart, or make wet your pants with laughter. When I started this blog, it was with the intention of having a place to work out my ideas and vent about my frustrations. But I also found a vibrant community of thoughtful, inspiring, and funny people. I just wanted you all to know how wonderful you all are. You just need to hear it sometimes, even if it is from a complete stranger.

Also, I get all sentimental when I’m drinking rum. C’mon, give us a hug!

About Sean Sandulak

Crazed recluse and sociophobe who has taken up writing after failing at everything else. Send pizza.