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So there was no post on Friday because my router decided to die. Of course it chooses to pack it in when I don’t have a job or any money to spare. And not any time in the previous eight years when I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
And it doesn’t just stop working, so I know what’s wrong and how to fix it. No, it spends a day and a half randomly switching itself on and off, leaving me just enough time to try rearranging the cables and rebooting half a dozen different devices to figure which are working or not. And as soon as I get it up and running again, that is when it stops again.
So I had to wait without Internet until today, because I don’t go any where near electronics or department stores on weekends anymore, especially not in December. I am just doing my part to break the vicious cycle of “people shop on Saturday because that’s when the sales are on” and “let’s put the sale on Saturday because that’s when all the people are in the store.” But mostly because I will buy all kinds of crap I don’t need and can’t afford.
Kind of like all the guys you see in the commercials for electronics stores. Men are always depicted as some seven-year-old boy about to wet his pants with excitement every time they walk through the store doors and see the giant wall of televisions. Like some compulsive shopper on a drunken bender, they then proceed to buy up half the store. Because that’s how all guys are when faced with all your AMAZING DEALS! Sheesh. Now imagine the uproar if we replaced the man with a woman and the electronics with shoes.
So anyway, I get my new router home and unpacked because I have discovered that I am addicted to the Internet and can’t go another minute without a fix. Upon reading the directions I see the first step is to connect the computer to the Internet. (If I could walk that way, I wouldn’t need the talcum powder.) Okay, so I spend another hour fiddling with an old portable router and a USB stick to get one computer connected and working. And I’m finally ready to move on to step two which is to disconnect from the Internet.
Ugh.
These instructions have got to be the most useless thing since the invention of The Status Bar of Lies. (99% done, my ass.) Yeah, so that’s my life. Long story short, you’re reading this so I finally figured it out.
Also, I can return all the other crap I bought, right?
Crazed recluse and sociophobe who has taken up writing after failing at everything else. Send pizza.
Verbatim Gibberish 
We had this same situation at my house a few months ago. But it was the modem that was working for smaller and smaller periods of time. Once the cable dude came out and fixed that, our old router wouldn’t work with it, so that had to be replaced as well. And it was the same combination of plug into the Internet, unplug from the Internet that is confusing when I had just gotten used to being wireless.
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