I’ve Got Something in My Eye
“Welcome to Cornea-Copia. How may I help you?” The disinterested receptionist eyed them wearily.
“We need to see the doctor,” said Bonnie. “As soon as possible.”
“We have a Dr. Wun, and a Dr. Too,” she said. “Which did you want to see?”
“Which is better, Wun or Too?” asked Anne.
“They’re about the same,” said the receptionist.
“It’s Dr. Wun we need to speak to,” said Bonnie.
“I see. Do you have an appointment?”
“No, it’s a personal matter,” said Bonnie. “We just need a few minutes to ask him some questions.”
The receptionist scowled at her. “He’s very busy, but I’ll see what I can do.”
While they waited, Anne and Bonnie picked over the selection of frames. “So the card in the Gasparo’s pocket was for this optometrist?” asked Anne. “How do we know he didn’t just have an astigmatism or something?”
“I’ll admit it’s not much of a lead,” said Bonnie, “but it’s the only one we have left.”
After a few minutes, a sour-faced man with a white coat came out. “I was told you wanted to see me. What’s this about?”
“Hello, doctor,” said Anne. “Do you know a man named Gasparo Floyd?”
“Why yes, as a matter of fact I do. He was in here a couple of days ago to buy some new sunglasses.”
“But you haven’t seen him since then?”
“A group of us were supposed to meet him last night. He had promised something extra special for our monthly dinner, but he never showed up. Why do you ask?”
“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you,” said Bonnie, “but he’s dead.”
“That’s terrible news,” said the doctor. “He had promised to get me into the new five-star restaurant that was opening up next week. It’s going to be the first time the great Ralph Florentine will be cooking in the States, and it’s right here in town. Now I’ll never get in!”
“Ah, I don’t mean to sound judgy,” said Anne, “but you don’t seem broken up about your friend dying.”
“He wasn’t much of a friend. In fact, he was quite annoying and quite possibly paranoid. But his job gave access to the most scrumptious eateries in town, and he would often let me tag along. Now with him gone, I’ll be lucky to get service at the local hot dog cart.” The doctor, who had been fighting back his tears, began to weep openly.
“It’s only food, doc,” said Bonnie. “There’s no need to make a spectacle of yourself.”
“Try to focus on what’s important,” Anne added.
“My life is ruined,” moaned Dr. Wun as he fell to his knees. “I’ll never know the joy of Chef Ralph’s Pacific Ocean black cod fillet, hand-glazed with a Japanese tamari and manuka honey reduction. Delicately balanced on a sumptuous organic pearl barley risotto. Hand in hand with a delightful English courgette flower beignet.”
The receptionist walked over and looked down at the doctor who was now curled up in a ball on the floor, weeping. “Oh my god. What did you say to him?”
“It seems his meal ticket expired,” said Bonnie. “Gasparo Floyd got himself killed last night.”
“Yeah, that would do it. The guy really loves his food.”
“Say, you wouldn’t know the name of the restaurant where they were supposed to meet, would you?” asked Bonnie.
“Sure, they always met at this seafood restaurant around the corner called ‘This Scampi Happening’. He wouldn’t shut up about it.”
“Oh, the teriyaki jus!” cried the doctor.
“Awkward. All right then,” said Anne. “We were just leaving.”
“Yeah, thanks for your help,” said Bonnie. They turned to leave, but before they could make it out the door, Bonnie grabbed Anne by the arm and pointed at a poster on the wall. The model in the ad had googly eyes stuck to the lenses of her glasses. “Wait, look there. I think this guy knows more than he’s letting on. C’mon, let’s go.”
“Where?” asked Anne.
To be continued…
The characters of Anne and Bonnie, while loosely based on their real world namesakes, are entirely fictitious. You can find more googly-eyed goodness at vandaleyes.net.