Owning It (or You Made Your Bed, Don’t Lie About It)

Have you ever done something so embarrassing that you gave serious thought to trying to build a time machine? Did you ever wait in line for hours for an autograph from your favorite celebrity only to drool on yourself? Did you ever ask someone out, only to have them literally laugh in your face? Wet the bed? Crap your pants? Get caught dancing to Britney Spears?

We’ve all done things we’re not proud of in our lives – things we were embarrassed to admit. (No, I’m not going to tell what, so stop asking.) Probably the worst moments are the ones where we do nothing at all. When we let doubt and anxiety rule our judgement, we surrender all we truly desire.

So I say charge ahead, awkward creature that you are. Things are never as bad as you imagine they could be. They are usually much, much worse. But let me tell you a secret. Everyone feels the same way. Everyone. Some people are just better at hiding it.

So be proud of who you are and what you do. Share the things you love with anyone who will listen. Tell the ones you love how you feel. Own it.

Also, if you really, really have to fart at a funeral, just blame the dead guy. He won’t  complain.


And that’s the end of my personal little subscription drive. I met some interesting and exciting new people and a few have found me. No kittens were harmed. I will now stop spamming all of you.

I will try to stay at two or three posts a week but I am working on some exciting new projects that are sucking up the bulk of my time. That plus the stupid day job. Expect randomness. I hope to have more announcements later this summer. Thanks to all of you.

Crazed recluse and sociophobe who has taken up writing after failing at everything else. Send pizza.

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Posted in Best Of Verbatim Gibberish, Blog, Uncategorized
One comment on “Owning It (or You Made Your Bed, Don’t Lie About It)
  1. My first date in highschool… I sneezed whilst kissing…



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