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Friend Or Faux? (or The Unexpected House Guest)

So, my cable provider wants to be my friend. At least that’s what they seemed to be saying in a recent email that they sent me. Great, I could always use a new friend. Do you want to go out

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Things I Will Probably Regret Later
August 2022
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Time until the end of the world
The Big DayApril 13, 2036
13.7 years to go.