In A Subjunctive Mood (or Long Live The Drama Queen)

So I’ve decided I’m going to try to post something every day. Well, every weekday. Why? I don’t know; it seemed like a good idea at the time. I probably wouldn’t if I were the kind of person who thought things through. The truth is the last thing I need is more work. I’ve got twenty-five thousand words to write for one book and another fifty-thousand words to write for my half-finished novel. All the while looking for a job that will actually pay me money, leave me time to write, and let me have some semblance of a life. Heaven forbid that my life should be easy. I wish I were rich, because that would solve a lot of my problems.

Meanwhile, the Internet is calling me. I have to schedule time just to read my email and catchup on Twitter. I should probably do more on Facebook and Google+, but I like to sleep occasionally. Be that as it may, social media is an important part of branding yourself. Still, I can be a bit of a perfectionist. If it feels like work, I’m probably over-thinking it again. I tend to do that a lot. Maybe I should take baby steps and start a Tumbler. I wish I were more organized, but I can never find the time.

Honestly, I could use more structure on my life. Discipline was never my strong suit. Left to my own devices, my brain will wander off into fantasy for hours at a time. And while that is entertaining to me, it is ultimately not very productive. Eventually, I just have to sit myself down and say, “It’s important that you be more focused.” I should probably stop referring to myself in the second person as well. Anyway, the point is I have always found excuses not to do the things I wanted to do. I need to stop listening to the voices that tell me to doubt my own abilities, as if they were right. I wish I were brave, because the only thing that’s stopping me is me.

Also, I know that, come what may, life goes on.

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• DP Challenge: I wish I were (perceptionsofareluctanthomemaker.wordpress.com)
• Sounding the alarm on the subjunctive (languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu)
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About Sean Sandulak

Crazed recluse and sociophobe who has taken up writing after failing at everything else. Send pizza.