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In order to improve our service, we need your feedback. Please take a moment to complete our survey. It should only take a few minutes of your time. Congratulations. You are a Turkish Angora kitten. Wait…am I doing this right?

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Posted in Random Nonsense

You’re Going to Have To Do Better Than That

 If you’re like me, sometimes it can be a little hard to get motivated. All too often this: can feel like this: But then I got to thinking that maybe it’s not me, it’s them. There’s  a whole segment of

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Posted in Insidious Inspiration

Friend Or Faux? (or The Unexpected House Guest)

So, my cable provider wants to be my friend. At least that’s what they seemed to be saying in a recent email that they sent me. Great, I could always use a new friend. Do you want to go out

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Posted in Word Nerd

Be My Valentine (or What’s Love Got To Do With It)

So since Christmas, I’ve noticed that page views for my blogs have been way down. I’ve heard the same complaint from other bloggers as well, so it’s not just me. (Phew. Although I wouldn’t blame you. I wouldn’t read this

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Posted in 3(Blah) + 3(Yada) = (Blog)

Dictionary.com Takes A Huge Dump On Nerd Culture (or Let’s Get Hashtag Epic Fail Trending)

WARNING: This post is tl;dr and contains much snarkiness and nerdiness. I have used both the dictionary.com website and the app for a while now, mostly when I want a quick second opinion about a definition, and I am not

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Posted in Word Nerd

The Top Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Read Top Ten Lists

It’s the end of the year (not the end of the world as a bored media would have you believe) and that means Christmas, New Years, and top ten lists. The latter is certainly one tradition we could all do

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Posted in DPchallenge, I'm Just Saying

The Five Stages Of Writing (or I Feel Your Pain)

Like dealing with grief, writing also has five stages. STAGE ONE – Caffeination Most writing begins with some sort of stimulant. Much writing is done late at night because writers are so easily distracted during the day and fail to

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Posted in Word Nerd

Spammers Aren’t Even Trying Anymore (or If You’re Going To Try To Screw Me, You Could At Least Buy Me Dinner)

So, I’m checking my blog stats today, because I’m {narcissistic|a responsible person|bored|compulsive}, and I notice that I’ve gotten twice as many spam comments as I have real comments from readers like you. On my other blog, that ratio is ten

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Posted in 3(Blah) + 3(Yada) = (Blog)

Nothing To See Here (or Move Along, Move Along)

So, I wish I could tell you about all the exciting things that happened to me this past week, but there aren’t any stories to tell. No rocks fell from the sky and hit me. No holes opened up in

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Posted in I'm Just Saying

Cleanup Your Act On Aisle Three (or Holiday Spirit Is Also Known As Rum)

It is important at this time of year to observe a few simple rules when shopping to avoid unnecessary delays and hurt feelings, so here is my seasonal shopping guide, or Modern Etiquette for the Socially Challenged Part Four Holiday

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Posted in Whine Tasting
Divide and Conquer: A collection of short stories from the workshops of Foil & Phaser for your Kindle or ePub reader.
Divide and Conquer Volume One

is collection of short stories from the workshops of Foil & Phaser available for free from the following retailers.
Smashwords (Kindle, ePub, PDF)
Barnes & Noble (Nook)
iTunes (iBooks)

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Things I Will Probably Regret Later
April 2014
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The Big DayApril 13th, 2036
22 years to go.
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